Beyond “That’s Really Good”

A note from Al Simmonite, Managing Director, Advance Consultancy:

This piece started with something I read from Simon Sinek and Brad Meltzer, one of those deceptively simple ideas that stops you in your tracks and makes you see your own habits, and your team’s habits, a little more honestly. Here’s where that thought took me…

Brad Meltzer’s insight “the worst feedback you can receive is ‘that’s really good’” says so much in so few words.

It’s the kind of truth that’s so obvious it’s almost invisible, until you spot how often it shapes our teams, our conversations, and our comfort zones.

At Advance, we see this pattern all the time, especially with leaders who want to do the right thing, but get trapped in what we call false harmony.

The seductive trap of false harmony

“That’s really good” feels kind. It feels safe. It feels polite. But in reality? It’s the seed of what we call false harmony.

False harmony happens when teams settle for validation instead of growth. When we keep things nice, but stuck. Meetings where everyone nods along. Feedback sessions where everything is “fine.” Projects where issues are quietly buried under courtesy.

It’s seductive because it keeps relationships smooth in the short term. But it’s cruel in the long term, because it stops people from stepping outside their comfort zone, which is exactly where transformation happens.

Challenge. Support. Evolve.

This sits right at the heart of how we work.

Our Challenge - Support - Evolve approach says: it’s not enough to be supportive if that support keeps people where they are.

True support (what we sometimes call ruthless compassion) means you care enough to help someone feel uncomfortable.

Challenge means asking the hard questions, naming blind spots, and pushing beyond “good enough.” It’s about risking discomfort for the sake of real progress.

But challenge without care is just criticism. Support creates the psychological safety for that challenge to land. It makes it possible for people to sit with discomfort, admit what they don’t know and grow from it.

Evolve is where the real payoff happens. When people are challenged and supported, they discover what they’re capable of, often beyond what they thought possible.

Why this demands leadership vulnerability

Over the years, I’ve learned this: none of this works if leaders themselves aren’t willing to model it.

It takes courage for leaders to admit they don’t have all the answers. Spoiler: none of us do. But when leaders are honest about what they don’t know, and when they actively invite challenge, they show everyone else that growth matters more than ego.

I’ve seen this break through false harmony more powerfully than any policy. It shows that being “nice” isn’t the goal. Honest, caring challenge is.

When leaders do this well, teams stop playing safe. They lean into tough conversations. They take risks. And they become exponentially more effective together.

The ruthless compassion of real feedback

Real feedback isn’t “that’s really good.” It’s:

“How could this be even better?”

“What might we be missing?”

“Where might we be kidding ourselves?”

It’s the difference between telling someone they’re fine as they are, and telling them you see what they’re truly capable of becoming.

It’s feedback that prioritises potential over comfort. It says: I care enough not to let you stay where you are.

The Question for every leader

So here’s the challenge for anyone still reading this far (and thank you if you are, I know I’m prone to the occasional long reflection!):

Are you giving feedback that genuinely moves your people forward?

Are you creating an environment where it’s safe to be challenged, and supported to grow?

Because the teams and leaders who truly advance aren’t the ones who avoid discomfort. They’re the ones who lean into it, together.

Ready to Move Beyond False Harmony?

If your organisation is ready to swap polite agreement for honest challenge, we’d love to help.

Our Challenge–Support–Evolve approach helps leaders and teams become comfortable with discomfort, and discover what they’re really capable of.

Contact us here, to find out how ruthless compassion can transform your team’s performance and your organisation’s results.

Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is refuse to settle for “that’s really good.”